Tiffaney Beverly-Malott

My husband, John,  told me of a situation where he was helping someone with their business. They had a break in the action; and my husband hadn’t eaten. After travelling over an hour to help the individual, he was starving. The person receiving his help didn’t offer to feed him; and didn’t stick around to eat with him. They just left him hanging! It wasn’t the money.  John had money to buy his lunch and their lunch. It was just a shock that the person being helped missed out on a golden opportunity…the mentoring lunch opportunity.

I’ve learned that who you have lunch with can grow you immensely. I’ve had lunch with powerful people and got helpful nuggets I wasn’t expecting. There is power in lunchtime with a successful person. You can get priceless knowledge for the price of lunch. You can pick a mentor’s brain for $20, $40, $60! To miss out on an opportunity like that is insane!

That’s what happened with John. An up and coming business partner needed help to grow their business. They made the mistake in thinking since the appointment was over, business was over, learning was over. That was just the beginning…The opportunity to feed a ravenous, millionaire doesn’t come often. You don’t pass that up. People get relaxed when they eat and drink. I’ve learned that’s when the most candor, the best anecdotes and the greatest nuggets are revealed.

Who should you have lunch with? A mentor. What’s a mentor? Any person who is successful in their field that may have some information to help you along your path or avoid pitfalls. A mentor could be a successful business person, a spiritual leader, your mother, your personal trainer. A mentor is anyone that is better than you in a field in which you want to get better.

So, the lesson for today is whenever you get the chance to go to lunch with someone more successful than you…DO IT! And pay for it! I heard that, “Americans always know the price; but they rarely know the value.” The mistake up and comers make is they look at how much money the mentor has and how much money they don’t have. Then they do the wrong thing by not paying for the meal. They’ve missed the opportunity to invest in themselves and have lunch again with their mentor. I have seen this happen far too often. An individual will greedily consume  knowledge and food; but won’t pay for the meal of the person that shared the information that could change their life. They will then go buy “rounds of drinks” for their broke friends because they don’t have any money. This is a mistake on so many levels. But the point I’m trying to make is spend your money where it will benefit your mind and your life, not your ego.

In a few weeks, I have two lunches scheduled with individuals that are waaaay more successful than me. I can’t wait to sit down with them and just listen. These types of opportunities don’t come very often. I’m going to have my mind ready to learn, my heart ready to receive and my credit card ready to pay.

Until tomorrow,

TLotti

P.S. I’m not hinting that I want someone to take me to lunch. I watching my weight!

The other day, I walked into my husband’s office to a hilarious scene. My husband, my kids and the dog were all in his office just doing their own thing. It was a scene out of a comedy. Everything was going on at once! Carissa, my 16 year old, was playing with her dog, Coco. She was showing her Dad all the tricks she had taught Coco. So, repeatedly, you saw Coco jump, lay, roll and sit. Nonstop. One trick after another. Neither of them got tired. Then I looked at Jessica, my 11 year old and Codi my 15 month old. Now, they weren’t standing near each other, they were on opposite sides of the room. They were talking to each other on the phone. Jessica had dialed Codi on our home phone from her cell phone; and they were literally having a conversation. This was not baby, playtime pretend. They could hear each other’s voices on the phone while they were looking at each other across the room. So, all you heard from them was “Hi, Bye, How are you? Baby Babble. Really?” Over and over and over again.

So,  Jessica is sitting on the couch kicking her feet up and down talking to Codi, who was pacing back and forth while she talked on the phone. (Which she learned from her father).  Coco is jumping and sitting and barking at Carissa’s every command. Then, I looked at my husband. He was calmly typing on the computer as he synched his new cell phone.

I watched this scene for awhile before I entered the noisy room. As I walked to the couch, nobody missed a beat. Everything continued in it’s high spirited, raucous fashion.  I asked everybody, “Do you guys know the meaning of cacophony?” They all stopped what they were doing for a second; and then they all said, “No”. They went right back to what they were doing. Except this time Jessica decided to pick up the violin that was found in our basement and begin to play it. She’s never had lessons. That didn’t keep Codi from enjoying it though. She danced to those awful sounds like she had caught the spirit. Coco and Carissa continued their circus act.

I asked my husband, “This isn’t driving you crazy? It’s so loud, everyone’s out of control!” He said, “I like it.” I said, “So, you don’t know what cacophony means.” He said, “No.” I said, “It’s loud, crazy noise. Like what’s going on in here.” He answered, “Well, what’s going on in here is a symphony to me. My girl’s under one roof will always sound good to me.” My husband has unfortunately experienced his family being split and living in two separate homes. I have not.

My husband taught me today’s lesson. No matter how noisy it may be, true peace and quiet comes from love and joy in your heart. So I sat there and smiled, humbled and in awe. After my husband’s words, I, too, sat and enjoyed the beautiful music of family.

Until tomorrow,

TLotti

Note: Attention span is required for this post. I had a lot to say.

Last week I met a lady, we’ll call her Jane. Jane and I started talking. Well, she talked, I listened. She told me she had to work a 14 hour shift.  She went on to share, “You have to follow the benefits. I can get my 40 hour work week done in 4 days.” I said, “That’s great that gives you time for your family.” She said, “Well, it gives me time for everything else I have to do. Because my husband doesn’t work. He says he doesn’t want to work, so he won’t work. It’s all on me.”

What? Huh? Did she just say “he doesn’t want to work, so he doesn’t work?” I had to know, so I asked, “Is he disabled?” She said, “No. He could work. But, he got laid off. So, if he can’t work that job, he just won’t work any job.” I’m thinking, “Oh, hell no!” I wanted to ask her, “And he still lives with you in your house?” She’s real good. Because if it were up to me, his address would be Under The Stars; and his zip code would be Planet Earth.

Yes, I know times are hard. Yes, I know there are layoffs. But, we still must work.  According to Milwaukee’s Fox News, the state of Wisconsin, where I reside, paid $3.1 billion dollars in Unemployment last year. Now, the state is having financial troubles and the recipients of Unemployment are still unemployed, still looking for assistance.

Well, it’s time to get a job. Guess what, there are jobs out there. Sure, it may not be the job you want. It may be a job out of your degree, trade or field. But, it’s a job. If you are over 18, able bodied and not incarcerated you need a job. It’s time for people to stop looking for someone else to take care of them. As I listened to Jane last week, I realized it’s not just Unemployment that’s being sucked dry. The “unemployed” are living off of spouses, significant others and parents. When did the entitlement mentality creep into our society? When did it become acceptable for an adult male to allow his father, his mother, his wife, his girlfriend to provide for him?  My father was on his deathbed worrying more about providing for my mother than his own health.

 Our ancestors would rather die before they begged or took a handout. Today, everybody’s looking for a handout. Can you blame the college graduate that can’t work in his field for wanting a handout when he’s watched American CEO’s get billion dollar handouts?

The lesson for today is we must WORK! Now, if you don’t have a job you need to get one. If you have a business and you can’t pay your bills, you need to get a job and work your business while you work your job. Now, there are some readers who are like me. You haven’t had a job in so long, you have to look up the definition of job. What’s our responsibility? We must work our businesses! Because we create jobs and opportunity for others with the success we have. We must also, keep it real. I’m sure someone is reading this saying, “Well, it’s easy for her to say. She doesn’t have to work a job. She’s not out here looking for a job. She’s married, her husband provides for her. Or whatever it is you’re thinking. But, let me set the record straight with a little TLotti work history.

I just want everyone to know that I have worked to get where I am today. In middle school, I laid sod in 100 degree heat in Florida, for an allowance. In high school, I worked as an usher in a movie theater for minimum wage. I cleaned the sticky soda, popcorn and nacho cheese off the floor in between shows. In college, I swept broken glass in a beer factory 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. In the USAF, I drove a forklift in the sub-zero temperatures of Grand Forks, North Dakota. After I got my degree, I worked third shift in factories for 5 years before I started my own business. Then, I worked my business AND  my job until my business paid me better than my job. Then I worked my business even harder. Today, I still work. Sure, it’s different from my earlier jobs. But, I still employ myself. Because nothing gets done and bills don’t get paid, my children aren’t provided for, my future is not secure if I don’t work.

So, I’ve been there and done that. I’ve worked crappy jobs for crappy wages for years. No handouts, nobody else paying my bills. I almost got evicted once and dear friends loaned me the money to avoid that. I paid them back in less than 60 days and never borrowed a dime from anyone again. I hated working most of those jobs; but they made me who I am today. If you don’t have a job right now, you need to get one. There is work out there. A good friend of mine moved across the country to get a new start. She is now employed and is enjoying being productive and fruitful. Sometimes it takes drastic measures to gain drastic results. 

If you are employed and you are enabling someone who’s not, it’s time to stop. Some people call it tough love. I call it common sense. You won’t be able to take care of them forever. Sometimes, saying no to someone you love is the only way to get that person to say yes to themselves. Something to think about. Thanks for reading. I look forward to your comments.

Until tomorrow,

TLotti

I am so blessed to have people in my life that are constantly pouring wonderful things into me. Today is no different. I woke up to a message that shared a great story from my friend, Angela. I read it and knew this was my post for today. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I’m writing this post outside. It’s beautiful out here. The sun is shining just right. The sky is the bluest I’ve seen it in a long time. It’s perfect. But just a handful of days ago, there were storms all over our area. Not just any storms. We had tornadoes and floods. If you remember, last week, a huge tree was struck by lightning in my backyard. But just as fast as the storms came in, the storms have now moved on. And my family and I are appreciating and enjoying the good weather, because we had so much bad weather.

I had to write about this today! We had a storm this morning. Rain, lightning, thunder! It was a serious storm. Sometime this morning, there was a loud sound and our house shook! It jolted me a little in my sleep; but it’s hard to get me out of my sleep. Once I woke up, I joined my husband in our second floor master bathroom. John, my husband, was looking out our large, picture window into the backyard. I asked what he was looking at. He pointed to a HUGE tree that was on the ground! John said, “It must have been struck by lightning. I’m glad it fell that way. A change in direction and it would’ve fallen through the window on me while I was sitting on the toilet!” We had a little laugh; but as usual, I got to thinking.

That tree could have easily fallen in the direction of my house, instead of away from it. This is no branch. This is a tree. Not a small tree. I would say this tree has been growing for at least 12 years. ;) (Like I  know what I’m talking about!) But this tree is gigantic. If it had fallen in the opposite direction, it would have fallen into our bathroom. A thought immediately came to my mind. I remembered growing up, my Mom used to pray…”and protect us from dangers seen and unseen.” That’s what I thought about. This morning, we were protected from dangers seen and unseen.

We hear about strange, unexpected things happening all the time. Cars driving into people’s homes, parking garages collapsing onto unsuspecting passersby.  The list goes on and on. We are grateful for those things not happening to us. But do we ever stop to say “thank you” for the things we didn’t know about? Do we ever rejoice for the things we were safe from that we didn’t see that were so close to us? Well, the lesson for today is we should and we need to start now. Stop thinking about everything else you need for a moment; and thank your Creator for protecting you from things you didn’t even know you needed protection from. Today and everyday, say “thank you for protecting me from dangers seen and unseen.”

Until tomorrow,

TLotti